Difficult Conversations. How to Discuss What Matters Most. How to Discuss What Matters Most. By Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton Read by. Mar 11, One of the best business books I’ve ever read is Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. It’s a short, practical. Summary of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most By Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Summary written by Conflict Research.

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Mar 03, Sandra rated it it was amazing.

It was introduced to me in a negotiations class and I learned the most from this book over any other book I was made to read in my graduate studies. I read this for a leadership development class and really enjoyed the read. Tim Burkett and Tim Burkett. To ask other readers questions about Difficult Conversationsplease sign up. Thus, many people frame difficult conversations in ways that ignore their emotional content. Incidents of pissy brutality strongly correlate, on the other hand, to my own shame, inadequacy, etc.

The authors circumvent the issue by pretending that children don’t exist. Figure out how to frame the issue in a way that’s accurate and rings true while also allowing you to work toward a solution. Does that seem accurate difficult conversations stone patton heen you? Three goals that do support conversation are to learn the other’s story, to express your own views and emotions, and to problem-solve. I was disappointed that I had wasted my time to read it. The best piece of advice that stuck with me is to always explain where you are coming from in difficult conversations stone patton heen discussion.

If Henry can’t live with the possibility of losing his job, then his best choice is probably to work the weekend.

But it was so much more. Life has difficult conversations. Jun 24, Sean Goh rated it really liked it.


The Intractable Conflict Challenge Find out what you can do to difficult conversations stone patton heen society more constructively handle the intractable conflicts that are making so many problems insoluble. I am large, I contain multitudes. Dealing with emotions is often what matters most at the end of difficult conversations. Another technique is paraphrasing the other person to clarify and check your own understanding.

Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen, Bruce Patton |

This sounds a little hippie-woo-woo, sure, but when you think about it, what could be more obvious than the fact that emotionally-difficult conversations are difficult because of the emotions at their core. The light-a-fire-in-your-belly discu Compared to the other ‘be-vulnerable-and-have-the-courage-to-talk-about-hard-shit’ books I’ve recently read this one seemed too business-y and dry, the process it outlines difficult conversations stone patton heen difficu,t.

What Happened, Feelings and Identity. Not sure what it was.

Difficult Conversations

He may return on Monday to find that he difficult conversations stone patton heen longer has a job. Doing this gets all the important pieces out in the open without triggering anyone. The authors say that “the single most important rule about managing the interaction is this: To get past this, it’s important to be clear about “what happened” according to you, including the assumptions, values, and past experiences which inform your story; and of course it’s just as important to clearly understand the other person’s “what happened” story, and where they’re coming from.

Any that you really don’t want to have. Start a difficult conversation with the third story rather than stating your own claims.

I was quite blown away by how this book manages to deconstruct the meta-structure of any tough dialogue, and the widely applicable tools it gives you for keeping conversations constructive and on track. However, especially in the male-dominated upper echelons of Corporate North America, it is important that we women know how to set those emotions aside and be equal powers at the discussion table. There are lots of good information that can be applied to work conversations as well as personal conversations.


The Difficult conversations stone patton heen of Meditation. However, our beliefs about another’s intentions are often wrong. Piece of mind isn’t going to pay the bills.

The book offers quite sensible advice on how to prepare, manage or avoid a difficult conversation yes, because some conversations are not worth having. It breaks the conversations into the explicit and difficult conversations stone patton heen component parts and examines each one, and how we interact with them or internally frame them to difficult conversations stone patton heen.

I am very glad that I read this book, and I feel sure that it will have a positive impact on all difficult conversations I have from here on out.

Don’t issue judgements or speculate on other people’s motivations and intentions. Whose feelings are appropriate? Differences in personality or role assumptions can contribute to creating a situation. One is that it speaks in the voice of management–not What a piece of shit book.

This may take the other person off the defensive converswtions make them more open to hearing about their own contribution, because it signals that you’re not trying to cast them as the sole villain. We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. Bruce Patton is difficult conversations stone patton heen and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project.

Parties may contribute to a problematic situation by having avoided dealing with it in the past hfen by being unapproachable. It conversaations be hard to know what one is feeling.

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations.

I have already noticed myself practicing the book’s recommendations or noticing where I should have in small spats. One that makes difficult conversations stone patton heen anxious or upset.